trials of batform
by OrlithNightfire
Summary: Okay, i seem to be famous for this in the legacy of kain comunity, this answers the age old question...what would happen if Kain lost a bat in batform?


The Trials Of Batform

I don't own Kain or any of the Characters of the Legacy of Kain universe. They are owned by Crystal Dynamics and Eidos. And these are my own take on things and do not reflect their actual personalities. Okay legal jargon over with on with the fan fic.

Kain had been drinking with the guys, the guys being Vorador and Raziel. They had gone to a pub, and drunk the intoxicated humans dry. Now they were totally drunk. They stumbled out into the street, each leaning on the other.

"Wright guys, I'll, I'll, I'll see you later hic" said Kain waving his arms in big arks and hugging them.   
"ohhh kkky Kainy wainy, Hic. See ya later" slurred Vorador, he then Teleported away.  
"How many times have I hic Told him not to call me Kainy wainy" mumbled Kain, Raziel sniggered but stopped at the look at Kain shot him. It was strange how Evil a drunk stare could be. It kinda looked at you but then Kain would sway and it seemed he would stare at all the places you were thinking of running to…Very strange.

"Okkkkkaay Kain. Oh how you getting home?" asked Raziel turning back  
"Um um um, in bar um um I mean Batform, of course." Said Kain drawing himself in some kind of dramatic pose…that was dramatically drunk.  
"Is that a good idea?" asked Raziel.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well your drunk Kain, you shouldn't fly when you're drunk"  
Kain scrunched up his face and thought for a moment, on one side of his mind. The still sober one, was shouting at him not to fly. But the Drunk mind was louder and sounded more convincing,  
"WERE THE RULER OF NOSGOTH AND WE CAN DO WHATERVER WE WANT"  
Kain relayed this message to Raziel, Raziel just looked at Kain then shrugged.  
"Okay fine, see you later" Raziel waved Kain goodbye and walked off.

Kain tried to Change in to Batform, first there was a poof and Kain Had two Bat wings coming out of his head, they where flapping, trying to take off, Kain sighed then tried Again, this time there was a poof and Kain stood there, nothing seemed to have changed, but if he had had a mirror, he would have seen his head was now the head of a cute small bat. He tried again and this time he got it right, Loads of Bats exploded into the night and drunkenly flew away.

Kain Flew on thinking to himself, no idea what he was thinking about, but hey that didn't matter. What really mattered was that he was flying towards Termagant Forest and a large tree. Kain's drunken brain saw the tree but due to his drunken mind he saw two trees. Kain had a split second to pick the real tree from the double vision one. He picked the wrong one.  
You would have been forgiven for thinking that a woodpecker was working late. The sound of each bat smacking into the tree was like that of a woodpecker, pecking the wood. The Bats fell to the floor and crawled back together to re-merge as Kain. Kain rubbed his head with his hand, Then a load crack came from the tree he was leaning against, It was falling down!. Kain jumped out of the way as the tree fell, amongst the crash of the tree was a big SPLAT, sound. Kain turned and looked at the trunk of the tree, around the base was a red smear. Kain giggled to himself

"He he he he , I squished a squirrel, hehehe"  
Kain put his right hand forward to pull himself off the floor, it was now that he noticed he didn't have a right hand, he only had a stump. The squirrel wasn't a squirrel.. oh no  
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH"

Vorador was trying to get to sleep, when he heard the scream, he teleported to where the scream came from.

Vorador popped into the clearing. He was in his pink dressing gown and had a blue face pack on his face, and the most funny thing, he had pink hair curlers on his head, which was quite a feat in it's self…as Vorador had no hair.

"What's all the racket. I got a hangover"  
"I, I, I squished my HAND WAHHH" blubbered Kain holding up the stump that was his hand. Vorador looked down at the red smear on the floor, then at the stump.  
"Oh dear," Vorador Walked over to Kain and gave him a hug. As he did this he called on Raziel, who Teleported in. But Raziel hadn't Quite got the hang of it. He teleported above the ground and smacked into the floor.  
"OW" muttered Raziel into the dirt. Raziel got up and looked at the blubbering Kain and at Vorador hugging the blubbering Kain.  
"What's he done now?" sighed Raziel.

Kain presented the stump to Raziel while Vorador went to the red smear on the floor.  
"I SQUISHED MY HAND," cried Kain.  
"I told you not to Batform home didn't I?" scolded Raziel  
Kain just blubbered. Raziel was looking at the stump, he could smell the blood. His drunken mind was saying   
"Take a bite, you know you want to" but the other side of his mind was saying.  
"This your Lord, your Father. He'll kill you"  
For the second time that night the drunken mind won the argument.  
Raziel bit into Kain's stump. Kain yelled and yanked his stump back  
"OWWWWWWWWWW"  
Raziel still wanted more. He began to chase the crying Kain around the clearing.  
"Come on Kain just a little bite"  
"Go away Raziel, leave me alone" Cried Kain running in front of Raziel.  
Vorador turned round and sighed. Good grief.

Meanwhile, the bat that was Kain's hand got shakily up. It saw the red smear and laughed,  
"he he he he Squished a squirrel"  
As it got on top of the trunk he saw the rest of it's self being chased by Raziel. It gave a little squeak and Kain stopped so suddenly that Raziel smacked into the back of Kain and fell to the floor. Kain Ran over to his Bat hand with glee,

"Oh my baby, I knew you would come back" Blubbered Kain at the bat.  
The Bat gave a little squeak and became his hand, and funnily enough his soul reaver.

"RIGHT RAZIEL…TAKE A BITE OUT OF ME WILL YOU?"

"Come on Kain I didn't mean it" cried Raziel, running away with Kain in hot pursuit

Vorador sighed. He always hated it after they went drinking. He was always cleaning up the mess. With a pop Vorador teleported home. After all, he needed his beauty sleep…

THE END


End file.
